i mean, really.

is this what i think it is? a note from this fellow appeared in my yahoo personals inbox today. it says he has no children, so that's not his daughter; it says he's divorced, so it could be...

is it just me or is this not the wisest choice of photo?

yahoo personals haiku

ok, maybe they don't conform to the 5-7-5 rule, but they have a certain poetic or haiku-like quality to them...enjoy!

In my own words

I love to have friends, I'm working in what i love, and enjoying life, I'm sure that always exist better things than bad thing, and will love to share it whit lot's of people i love.

In my own words

I speak little English. I would like to meet girls to speak English and to drink together something.Help to learn me the English.

In my own words

Looking for someone fun with love for life, can be cool in the sun and hot at night.
Ok with staying in to relax kick back snuggle love and know time close to each other. Always ready to get out and enjoy life, lil trips hot beach day or in the cool mountains not so faraway to spend a night to play then hold you tight.

THIS JUST IN:

In my own words

just want you so badly to do everything you have always wnted to do but were afraid to ask you f'n freak do u love thongs bongs and ding dongs

(huh???)

have i told you lately...

...how much i f*in hate e-harmony?!?!?

after they send me a potentially promising match the day after my 6 month subscription expires (how convenient!), I go through four of their "stages of communication" with this guy (initiated by him), and today he "closes" on me. the reason? "other." so lame. not that i had my hopes up about this particular dude (as i told JS tonight, judging from the pictures, he may own a poodle, which could be a bit problematic for me. i mean, i love dogs...but a white poodle? sorry, i digress.)

perhaps my honest, candid responses rubbed him the wrong way. if so, that's just as well. but it's damn annoying that after now 7 months on that stupid site i haven't met a single person! they won't get any more of my money, no sir.

for what it's worth, these are the questions he posed (they have a list, though you can author your own if you like at this phase of communication) followed by my answers....

1. Looking back on your life, of what are you most proud?

In terms of an accomplishment, I'm most proud of the Ph.D. in Education Policy & Administration that I earned in September 2005. Getting that done took six years of intense focus and a fair amount of sacrifice. Personally, I'm most proud of the long-term friendships I've sustained -- I take friendship very seriously and have a number of great people who've been in my life for a decade or two.

2. They say life is about simple pleasures, what is your simplest pleasure, and how does it make you feel?

I love listening to music. Nothing can set a mood, improve my mood, or bring back good memories than music. I enjoy making compilation CDs for my friends, playlists for myself, or just putting the iPod on shuffle and seeing what comes out. (I enjoy folk, jazz, alt/indie rock, some world music, etc.) Other simple pleasures include smiling at people (I love when they smile back) and high threadcount sheets. : )

3. Describe your spirituality.

To be blunt, I'm rather skeptical of organized religion. But that doesn't mean I don't take spirituality seriously. I'm a strong believer in making the world a better place through daily actions. For me, that means working in a career that is directed toward a social cause (the improvement of public education), sharing kindness with others, and living with awareness (yoga helps with that). So while I don't go to church (if I did, perhaps it would be Unitarian, Friends, or a Buddhist temple) the development of a healthy inner life and knowledge of myself and what motivates me is really important.

clean up on aisle 9

ah, lovely.

most women my age are having their first baby around this time....i have my first UTI.

damn.

to add insult to injury, the pharmacist at my neighborhood grocery/drug store is totally cute and single. and he knows WAY too much about me.

ah well.

i'm sure that just like these clouds and humidity, unusual in san diego this time of year, this too will clear up in a few days.

~md

waiting....

so my potential e-harmony connection responded to my questions and i liked what he had to say. then we progressed to the next step in the process: "must haves/can't stands." i sent mine but haven't heard back in a few days....hmmm....

well here they are in case you are curious. i can't believe i've given them 7 months of my hard earned time and money and i haven't met a single person!!

You sent your Must Haves and Can't Stands on July 17 2006, 09:46AM PT

Must Haves:
Intellect......	I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.
Sense of Humor......	I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.
Emotionally Healthy......	I must have a partner who is emotionally healthy, and able to share a stable life with someone else.
Family......	I must have someone who shares my desire to have or adopt children.
Tolerant......	I must have a partner who is able to hear and appreciate divergent viewpoints.
Self-Confident......	I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself/herself throughout life's ups and downs.
Communicator......	I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.
Emotionally Generous......	I must have a partner who enjoys people and is generous with his or her compassion, attention, sympathies and love.
Affectionate......	I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.
Chemistry......	I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.

Can't Stands:
Anger......	I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.
Lying......	I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.
Rude......	I can't stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.
Extremely Shy......	I can't stand someone who is so shy that they cannot open up and share with me.
Poor Hygiene......	I can't stand someone who is not clean.
Racist......	I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity.
Cheating......	I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people.
Addictions......	I can't stand someone who currently suffers from addictions.
Infidelity......	I can't stand someone who engages in sex outside a committed relationship.
Pessimism......	I can't stand someone who always sees the glass as half empty.

e-harmonizing

my e-harmony 6 month trial expired on 7/12...i was happy to let it go by the wayside, but they sent me what appeared to be an intriguing match on the 13th. hmmm....i guess i'll give them three more months of my hard-earned cash. bastards.

at least said intriguing match initiated contact with me (sadly, i think the gender rules apply to e-harmony...communication i initiate never goes anywhere, but if i reply to a man initiating contact, it moves forward. hmmmm. so much for online dating leveling the playing field between men and women).

so here are the questions (they are pre-structured, of course) and my answers...wonder if it is off-putting that i wrote in all my responses instead of doing the multiple choice thing. must reflect my disdain for standardized tests! feel free to chime in on any of the questions...or my answers (the "E" response to each question is my self-composed reply). i'll keep you posted if i hear anything back...

1.	If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond? A) stay close to my date, letting him/her introduce me B) find a spot at the back bar and relax alone, letting him/her work the room C) strike out on my own, introducing myself and making friends D) I would ask my partner if I could skip this particular event E) although i'm far from socially clingy, i think in a new situation the first option might best describe me
2.	Your idea of adventure is: A) whitewater rafting B) karaoke singing C) trying a different route to work D) ordering a dish you've never tried before E) i took surfing lessons for my 33rd b-day last weekend, that seemed pretty adventurous to me! : )
3.	On Saturday night, would you rather go to: A) ballet/theater/symphony B) a professional sporting event C) a popular new movie D) the latest dance club E) an independent film, live music, or a great meal (or some combination thereof)
4.	Which sort of date sounds like the most fun to you? A) attend a lecture on a topic that appeals to both of you B) go bargain hunting at a local flea market or antique shop C) go bowling D) visit a local comedy club E) bowling can be fun, as can comedy...perhaps the more intellectual pursuit once i know the person a bit better
5.	Do you enjoy debating the issues of the day with your partner? A) I hate to debate about anything. B) Occasionally I don't mind a friendly debate, but I don't really enjoy it. C) As long as we don't get too intense, I enjoy a good discussion about general issues. D) I find it stimulating to debate various "issues of the day" with my partner and love it. E) i enjoy debate and consider myself politically aware, but i work in education reform so dealing with social issues on and off the clock all the time can get a little intense

you give me something to blog about....

there is this great sad song by this canadian chanteuse named mary margaret o'hara called "to cry about," as in "you give me something to cry about," that i first heard on a compliation put together by the folks in everything but the girl. (fun fact -- she's the sister of Catherine O'Hara of Best in Show, etc.) i was going to write a post called "kinda like valentine's day" but the above title and then that song came to mind so i decided to stick with it.

i turned 33 today. that's the valentine's day reference. see, just as i blogged about in mid-Feb, with birthdays i usually will myself not to freak out, fixate on the fact that i'm still single and (insert age here), etc. and it's all good until i let my guard down for five minutes and then i start to feel it. a little sadness mixed with wistfulness mixed with "this isn't exactly what i expected my life to look like at this point in the game" mixed with my best effort at a self-pep-talk (but you have a great life! you have a freakin' PhD! you still get to hook up with random people if you want, unlike my dear friends and family who are legally bound to be physically intimate with only one person!). so that lovely game of ping-pong goes back and forth in my head for a while until i either pummel it into submission with a few beers or go to sleep.

perhaps that is part of the reason why i typically make a big production of the b-day. other than the fact that i think we should all celebrate the day we were brought into this world, i like to surround myself with friends as a reminder of all the great people in my life who love me (and the annual reunion aspect is great too now that our lives are getting more complicated and geographically spread out). thankfully, this year was no different -- i really appreciate my friends who shared the experience of surfing lessons with me this weekend! that fulfilled a "i have to do this at least once in my life" kind of feeling and was really fun at the same time.

so tonight a friend (the individual referenced in the 5/25 and 6/27 posts) is taking me to dinner. nice that a great guy is taking me out to dinner on my birthday; unfortunate that said great guy is not on the same page with me in terms of what he wants in his life.

as i keep telling myself, remain optimistic, you never know what (or who) lies around the corner...i just hope it doesn't take him another whole year to get here. ; )

all quiet on the dating front...

i apologize to my (probably few at this point) faithful readers for my lack of posts of late...not much to report i guess.

though i did stumble across this WINNING photo on Yahoo personals, thought I'd share. maybe this works for some women...i'm just not one of them. ; ) -j