honesty...is such a lonely word

well, here's what went down. seems to be OK. i really wish a few guys had done this with me instead of leaving me to wonder (in this case, he is J):

J: so is silence a good thing...
me: hey there
me: to be honest, i'm not sure.
me: as much as i wanted it to be there, i'm not sure i experienced the chemistry/click thing we talked about. i'm still processing the experience in my mind. certainly i enjoyed actually meeting you and talking to you and sharing a glass of wine with you. but beyond that, i'm just not sure. don't know if that helps, i just want to be open with you about where i'm at. i personally find it frustrating when i feel left to figure it all out on my own.
J: well that is okay, sometimes it happens and others times it doesnt
J: i was still very nice to have met u
J: and i wish u the best in ur search
J: take care
J: :)

ah well. maybe next time...

~md

I shaved my legs for this?

I've been wanting to use that subject line for a while...though secretly at the same time hoping I would never feel the need to use it.

Ah well, cute subject line, your time has come.

The long awaited first date has come...and gone.

Note to guys, here are two questions not to ask me on the first date.

"Why are you still single?"
"Am I what you expected?"

Eek. I hate the first question because I feel it presupposes there must be something wrong with me. As in this case, he led into it by saying "you are clearly smart, attractive, funny -- why are you still single?" What am I supposed to say, something about a disease or Tourette's? I don't f*ing know, I met you on match.com because apparently I'm trying not to be single...what the f* kind fo question is that?

The second question also sucks because it puts you on the spot. As an intensely honest person, I'm not sure what to say. So I tell the truth: "in terms of your voice and personality, yep, you are pretty much what I'd imagined. But based on the black and white picture I saw of you in which you were wearing sunglasses, I formed a different image of what your face would look like. Not better, not worse, just different." What the hell am I supposed to say? "I should have listened to my friends who said never trust an ad with one picture!" Not that looks are everything, clearly they are not. But physical attraction is either there or it isn't, and if you look nothing at all like your photo (or, my bad, what I imagined from your photo), then that's unfortunate. And if you give off a vaguely gay vibe and you have one of those mafioso-like rings (gold with a big black oval) and a mafioso-like gold necklace (note, this individual is primarily of Irish extraction, not Italian at all), I'd say the physical reality is kind of working against you.

I don't know. All I do know is: no more long virtual courtships! I've learned that lesson in the past and hoped my radar (gaydar?) was working better this time around, but it seems that no matter the situation, that lesson holds. And besides, anyone who knows me -- could I ever date a guy that (literally, I'm not making this up) goes to bed by 8p and gets up at 4a to accommodate his global business operation? Not likely.

Back to the drawing board, peeps.

~md