(passive aggresive) postscript?
OK, I'll admit I sometimes do weird (unadvisable, questionable, potentially upsetting to me) things when I'm caught up in boy drama. Often triggered by sports, music, or certain sense memories (foods, smells, seasons), etc. So here is the latest:
For those of you who've been following along for a while, there was an individual back in San Diego that I had a rather unproductive relationship with. (No, not THAT unproductive one, a different one! ;) This one was hopefully the last in a too-long line of "he says he doesn't want a relationship, but I'm so great of course he'll change his mind" scenarios. [For background, go here: http://mysterydater.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html] After six somewhat tortured months together, we ended it and conveniently a few weeks later he decided to tell me he was still in love with his ex who just happened to grow up about two towns over from me in Pennsylvania.
So in a moment of weakness-slash-curiosity (not a "getting back together" kind of curiosity, more of a "I wonder where he's at and what's he's up to" kind of curiosity), I send him a note via Facebook referencing the rare instance of interleague play between our two beloved baseball teams happening over the weekend. What follows is our brief correspondence. (Note that this is an email exchange, there has not been and will not be any "friend" requesting.)
From me to him (after noticing that his profile pic is of him and a woman):
I don't know if your current lady is from Philly, but if she is, I hope she's giving you some sh*t this weekend. :) - j
From me to him again after my team blew a two-run lead in the 9th inning:
I knew the second I sent that message that I was counting my chickens before they hatched!
From him to me a couple days later:
that was a great series...my wife is the same L. from PA...and as much as she wanted her Phillies to win, she didn't want to give me hell, she said she hates to see me sad. Plus she is very sensitive and cannot take trash talk, so she wisely doesn't talk it. How are things with you?
From me to him, after processing my surprise:
Wow, congratulations on the nuptials! Can't underestimate the importance of timing. : )
Sounds like both of our lives have changed quite a bit. I moved to Chicago in July '08 and my quality of life has improved dramatically. I really love it here and the Midwest vibe seems to be really working for me. (Sometimes I describe Chicago as a bigger, cleaner, friendlier Philadelphia! : ) Lots of good food, good sports, and good people here, and it shows me that while weather is a factor in one's quality of life, it's certainly not the most important one. Hope you are feeling that way in your new locale as well.
Your name has crossed my mind a few times since I've moved here, partly because of sports-related things, as my enjoyment of watching sports definitely increased during the time we spent together, but also because I've recently met someone who I think might be pretty great but toward whom I didn't feel an overwhelming sense of attraction right away. I appreciate that through my experience with you I learned how chemistry can grow pretty intensely with someone as you get to know them better and spend more time with them. Then of course there is the timing piece, but I think this guy is in a place where he is ready for a relationship (been divorced for about 4 years, no kids yet, pretty well situated career and home-wise, not appearing to still be in love with an ex). So we shall see...
Be well and happy. I stand by my assertion that you would be a great father so if that is part of your plan together, I wish you guys all the best.
-------
I think we're both guilty of some not-too-subtle passive aggression in this particular exchange, but hey, I never said I was perfect. ; ) But it is absolutely true that with him I learned that chemistry and attraction are not just about what you feel in the first thirty seconds of being with someone and for that lesson I am grateful.
~md
For those of you who've been following along for a while, there was an individual back in San Diego that I had a rather unproductive relationship with. (No, not THAT unproductive one, a different one! ;) This one was hopefully the last in a too-long line of "he says he doesn't want a relationship, but I'm so great of course he'll change his mind" scenarios. [For background, go here: http://mysterydater.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html] After six somewhat tortured months together, we ended it and conveniently a few weeks later he decided to tell me he was still in love with his ex who just happened to grow up about two towns over from me in Pennsylvania.
So in a moment of weakness-slash-curiosity (not a "getting back together" kind of curiosity, more of a "I wonder where he's at and what's he's up to" kind of curiosity), I send him a note via Facebook referencing the rare instance of interleague play between our two beloved baseball teams happening over the weekend. What follows is our brief correspondence. (Note that this is an email exchange, there has not been and will not be any "friend" requesting.)
From me to him (after noticing that his profile pic is of him and a woman):
I don't know if your current lady is from Philly, but if she is, I hope she's giving you some sh*t this weekend. :) - j
From me to him again after my team blew a two-run lead in the 9th inning:
I knew the second I sent that message that I was counting my chickens before they hatched!
From him to me a couple days later:
that was a great series...my wife is the same L. from PA...and as much as she wanted her Phillies to win, she didn't want to give me hell, she said she hates to see me sad. Plus she is very sensitive and cannot take trash talk, so she wisely doesn't talk it. How are things with you?
From me to him, after processing my surprise:
Wow, congratulations on the nuptials! Can't underestimate the importance of timing. : )
Sounds like both of our lives have changed quite a bit. I moved to Chicago in July '08 and my quality of life has improved dramatically. I really love it here and the Midwest vibe seems to be really working for me. (Sometimes I describe Chicago as a bigger, cleaner, friendlier Philadelphia! : ) Lots of good food, good sports, and good people here, and it shows me that while weather is a factor in one's quality of life, it's certainly not the most important one. Hope you are feeling that way in your new locale as well.
Your name has crossed my mind a few times since I've moved here, partly because of sports-related things, as my enjoyment of watching sports definitely increased during the time we spent together, but also because I've recently met someone who I think might be pretty great but toward whom I didn't feel an overwhelming sense of attraction right away. I appreciate that through my experience with you I learned how chemistry can grow pretty intensely with someone as you get to know them better and spend more time with them. Then of course there is the timing piece, but I think this guy is in a place where he is ready for a relationship (been divorced for about 4 years, no kids yet, pretty well situated career and home-wise, not appearing to still be in love with an ex). So we shall see...
Be well and happy. I stand by my assertion that you would be a great father so if that is part of your plan together, I wish you guys all the best.
-------
I think we're both guilty of some not-too-subtle passive aggression in this particular exchange, but hey, I never said I was perfect. ; ) But it is absolutely true that with him I learned that chemistry and attraction are not just about what you feel in the first thirty seconds of being with someone and for that lesson I am grateful.
~md
posted by j @ 11:52 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home