well...

it's going. well, that is...

the superstitious side of me is afraid to talk about it, to "jinx" it.

the hopeless romantic side of me is positively giddy.

the pragmatic side of me is worried, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

i don't know what's going to happen here. i haven't pushed a conversation to define this yet. but the overly analytical side of me will only be able to bite my tongue for so long.

so we'll see. in the meantime, i've had to decide how to handle other potential datees. i've put my "it's just a midday meal" (and a huge waste of cash) membership on hold...and here is my recent exchange with a lovely, 40 year old, wildly intelligent-seeming divorced father of one from denver with whom i've been e-mailing for about a month through nerve.com...(we contemplated meeting in SD this summer...not an idea i'd usually entertain, but this guy definitely piqued my interest...)

---------------------------------------------------
> Sender: J
> To: B
> Date: Jul 20, 2007 3:12 pm PST
>
> hi b!
>
> i'm home now too, finally -- i do enjoy traveling, but there is something to be said about being at home in your own bed!
>
> so, i want to be honest with you. someone from my past has recently re-entered my life...i'm skeptical but for the moment seeing where it goes. i'm excited at the prospect of meeting you, but i want to be totally upfront with my situation (literally changing as of the last three weeks!). i feel like honesty/candor is rare in the world of online dating but it's really important to me.
>
> not sure how that strikes you, but i would like to stay in touch (and even possibly meet) depending on how things unfold.
>
> hope all is well with you and that i hear from you again at some point!
>
> cheers -- j

J--

I know exactly what you mean about being home, although right now jumping on a plane to somewhere cooler is VERY appealing! We're going to be in the mid-90s for at least the next week..... Fall is my favorite time of year, with cooler temperatures being a major appeal!

I appreciate your candor! Although drat on the timing--I was just about up to asking if you have floor space available! That has to be an interesting dynamic--I've not experienced it in the sense that I've never (to this point, at least!) gotten involved again with someone I was with previously. Not entirely sure why, but.......

So yes, let's stay in touch! And I'd love to meet sometime! (Who wouldn't want to meet you?)

And also to be candid, part of me wishes you the best with whoever is returning, and part of me doesn't........

-B

semi-redemption

so yeah, he was a day late and a dollar short...but he did call and apologize. the first time he called on the 12th my voicemail was full (verified by me), but he called again later and we had a nice chat. and he offered to pick me up at the airport and do something special for my birthday so we'll see.

i keep thinking my friends and family probably think i'm unwise to go down this road again. but i know i'm smart and i've learned a lot over the past few years and heaven knows i've "tried" to date other people (and in some cases i actually have...e.g., Andy, Eric)...but something really strong has kept pulling us back to one another for over five years...so we shall see.

more soon, i'm sure.

~md

the day after

hmmm....i don't see "forgetting your birthday" on this list, perhaps it's sign # 6...

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/3/five-breakup-signs

good news is, i had a happy birthday here in north carolina!

~ md

excellent headline

on the anniversary of my birth, i found this headline especially fitting:

"Kool & the Gang says there's no age limit on Cool"

yeah baby!!

didn't stir up any trouble in barbados (save perhaps inspiring a small crush or two), but had a wonderful time with dad.

did get a sweet text message from a certain gentleman asking me "R u back yet?" note that this is the first text message said gentleman had ever sent. very sweet.

is the third time the charm?

or am i just a big fat idiot for opening myself up to this person again?

our third first date was a fairytale. amazing dinner, fun show (at the same place where we had our first first date five years ago, coincidentally), a ride to the airport the next morning with a big smoochy romantic send-off.

but now i'm on the east coast getting ready to take a much-needed vacation and i'm feeling unsure and possibly a bit regretful. fear, i guess. was the date an isolated event or potentially the start of something? i suppose i won't really know until i get back. at least i'll have white sand beaches and clear blue water to distract me in the meantime...oh, and probably some rum. ; )

~ md