so far...

paradise is beautiful. rainy, but beautiful. looking forward to my partner-in-crime arriving tomorrow.... : )

a phone not ringing is the loudest noise there is

as per instructions, i called this new person yesterday. afterward, i immediately regretted it. i thought to myself, i know he said call me tomorrow, but he probably didn't mean it. then: i know he doesn't seem to be the game-playing type, but i should have still played this cool. damn! double damn! of course, last night, while i busied myself about getting ready for my trip, i heard the deafening noise of my phone not ringing. gosh, can't believe i already messed this one up. and then: but if he is really scared off by a phone call from me, did this really have any potential anyway? (if you are wondering, yes, i often wish i could tell my inner dialogue to Shut The Hell Up.) today was busy at work, completing a project before I go away (extra special thanks and shout out to K and S, my rockstar colleagues that stuck around to help me get the thing done!), more running around in vacation prep mode. mom calls, my traveling partner who I'm meeting in hawaii calls....then, unexpectedly, my phone rings....seriously, i was exactly like the guy on the AT&T commercial (set to a Cat Power song, my traveling partner pointed out to me), who sees the name on the caller ID, does the whole "Yesssss!" thing and then answers the phone all nonchalant, "Hello?" like you don't know who it is or you aren't totally psyched. so funny. we had a nice chat for about 20 minutes (the guy is a bit of a talker, but in a very endearing sort of way), and I ended the call as I had a few more errands to run. i lamented the fact that i will be gone for the next two weekends (and he is basically only free on weekends) and he said just the right thing: "don't worry about it, I'm not going anywhere." who knows if this will become anything, but i definitely had a little more pep in my step as i finished last-minute running around....

a bit of a disclaimer for those who dont know me very well....i have Phone Baggage. as described in a previous post, I've been plagued by a number of pre-emptive dumps, as well as falling prey to my own lack of patience (which I come by genetically, ask my mom!). i'm trying to learn, to be more patient, take things more slowly, not always assume other people's actions are a reflection on me. it's hard, but i think i'm getting a little better. but one thing i've never been good at is the whole "rules" of dating and the game-playing associated with that. much like the main character in A Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing who learned that the rules led her astray, I think that the right person for me wouldn't subscribe to that approach. time will tell if that is true or not, but in the meanwhile I'll keep working on my patience and get on with my life and try not to wait for the phone to ring.

double date

quite surprisingly, this weekend I had not one, but two, dates.

with the same person!

shocking, i know. after bagging on yahoo personals, i realized there was someone there who had caught my eye. i refrained from contacting him because he is a self-described single dad, and after my last relationship, i was a bit gun shy of that. (not that the kid had anything to do with why the last one didn't work out, but the person in question was a father.) but one day i decided to write to this guy, we struck up a conversation over e-mail, talked about getting together, my plans switched up a bit so i gave him a call. friday was a casual dinner and basketball, sunday was a suspenseful movie (inside man--i give it both thumbs up). he's really down to earth, cute, athletic, and thus far seems to have his act together. we shall see. both dates ended with really nice hugs and clear instructions to call him the next day.... it could be a little tricky with his custody schedule and now i'm going to be away the next two weekends. but if there is any potential there, it should be able to weather all that. who knows...

before and between these dates, though, i had some wonderful visitors, my lovely mom, who is as enamored with her little grandson as i am as his aunt, and two very wonderful, close female friends--one in town for a conference and the other in town because she wanted to see both of us. i think i laughed more in the 24 hours I spent with them this weekend than i have in a while. so great.

so i work mon and tues then off for the first real post-grad school vacation.... i can't wait!

scientifically proven?

so, back on the e-harmony thing again. someone who might be interesting wants to learn more about me in that contrived, e-harmony sort of way. this is the furthest i've gone in the process (i guess for that site, getting to the "Second Questions" is kind of like getting to second base in the real world... ; ). so for your reading pleasure...here are my responses....

1. Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.
I really enjoy listening to live music from time to time, about once or twice a month. Nothing too crazy or loud, but I just love the experience of being present when art is being created live on the stage. It is a way of reminding me of the value of being in the present moment, as that same music will never be created the same way in the same setting with the same audience ever again.

2. What have you learned from past relationships?
Probably most importantly not to settle. My mom told me once, "if a man tells you you are too good for him, believe him." Not to say that I have an unrealistically high standard, but that I've learned it is not too much to ask to feel respected, appreciated, and cared for and to have your needs met for the most part. I've also learned that I can be very giving, but I need to remain aware of the balance in the relationship so I'm not doing all of the giving.

3. Describe the worst date you've ever been on.
Hmmmm...I generally enjoy meeting new people, so even if there is no romantic spark I try to find something good in the experience. That said, one not-so-great date was a set-up -- my friend was certain that I would really like this person. He was nice enough, but not at all my type, and I just kept wondering during the experience, does my friend really not know me as well as I thought she did to think that this individual and I could be a good match? I guess it was less about the date than how distracted I was trying to understand what my friend was thinking, but the whole thing was pretty uncomfortable.

Will keep y'all posted....anyone else want to take a crack at these questions?

man repellent?

ok, maybe i'm crazy. obsessive even. not that i'm keeping score...but...

one guy e-mailed me through friendster. sounded really interesting. asked me some questions (basic stuff, what brought you to SD, etc.) which i responded to a day or so after he asked. no word back.

one guy i had a few dates with about 1.5 years ago, recently ran into each other again, let's hang out he says, he e-mailed, i wrote back about a week later, no word back.

guy who i went to college with, sent a really sweet e-mail after we ran into each other, then a belated valentine's day e-card, e-mailed him, no word back.

righty law student guy, wanted to meet up this week, sent an e-mail to see what his week was looking like, no word back.

guy i had a nice conversation with when i was up in the bay area, he lives up there, never heard back from him.

in a slight moment of weakness last weekend, i called someone i used to date that i haven't talked to in a little while and would genuinely like to be friends with (not that one, don't worry), no word back.

maybe i need to verify that my Secret roll-on is still working?

at least there is one (young) man that is not repelled:

top 10 reasons yahoo personals sucks

these are real headlines, taken directly from the site. believe me, i did not make them up.

Redneck needs loveing

Would you Like To Hold My Hamd?

free Men For Your Order?

i'm a grown ass man :)

** VERNAL NINJA SEEKS SMOKEBOMB(SHELL) *

Harmless Snake

Loves Pepsi, no long walks on the beach!

Looking for miss Maybe

Fishing guy ISO fishing girl.

Dingo Suave

outsourcing?

tonight i met up with some san diego friends to play our semi-monthly friendly poker game. after a busy week, i didn't much feel like going out on the town this weekend, so two mellow nights really seemed to fit the bill. there were six of us tonight, one married couple and four single people. while i adore my two single guy friends who were there, i don't think any of us are destined to date one another. i know that at least three of us are on at least one online site for meeting people. so this led me to think, is online dating a way of outsourcing your dating life for the computer to take care of? does it represent some form of laziness on our parts -- i'll go hang out with my friends and let the computer do the rest? now i'm no fan of attempting to "pick people up" out in the world -- it seldom happens, and usually when i'm out with my friends i want to be with them, not constantly scanning the room for potential. part of going out is wrapped up in the possibility of meeting new people, of course, but it seems particularly difficult and uncomfortable to meet new people while out in san diego as compared to other places i've lived. maybe it is because i'm getting a little older, maybe it is the places i go, but people here seem to rarely make eye contact let alone strike up conversations. it's a bit odd, really.

i guess in a world of outsourcing, using multiple avenues to reach a goal is probably wise. and as the lovely couple who hosted tonight's game reminded me, they met online so anything is possible. sometimes i wonder if there is more i should be doing to try to meet people, but then i think living a happy, fulfilling life is probably the best way, because then you emanate a positive energy that other people want to be around. who knows, it's all a mystery anyway.

good news for me is i won $74 tonight, so i ain't complaining.

oh, the irony....

so about a month and a half ago, I met an interesting man. originally from the east coast, he moved west to change careers and become a lawyer...prosecuting attorney to be exact. (damn those law and order shows, the thought of someone being tough in the courtroom kinda gets me going!) after way too much anticipation (conflicting traveling and school schedules meant we communicated a lot by e-mail and phone before meeting in person, a big online dating no-no as far as i'm concerned as it allows your expectations to go through the freakin' roof!), we finally met. and it was good...but maybe not great. i was finally feeling pretty relaxed when i popped the question -- "where do you stand politically?" and was shocked to hear the exact opposite of what i expected and what i personally believe (i.e., i'm a lefty, he's a righty). that alone is not a deal-breaker for me, but as we talked more about some current issues and the politics of my work, it became pretty clear to me that we see the world quite differently. we continued to hang out and all is well that ends well. ; ) we've stayed in touch intermittently but we are both busy and probably looking for other things in terms of relationships so it is a pretty low-key friendship at this point.

SO.................check my e-mail this morning. 5 new e-harmony matches. (i really think they are trying to appease me after reading my post where i bagged on them!) hmmmm...finally some san diego folks instead of just LA. i click on one, and, voila, here is a picture of mr. righty law student mentioned above staring right back at me. now, to quote his quote (which I believe is originally from the Simpsons), that is funny on so many levels. i think on our date we determined we are intellectually compatible and certainly attracted to each other, but i came down on the side of values on this one. now e-harmony's whole deal is that it has this scientifically tested-and-proven way of finding who you are compatible with in terms of values, life goals, energy levels, etc., etc.

so which is it? do i follow my gut on this one or do i take a cue from Dr. Neil Clark Warren and give this a shot beyond the "friendship" that already exists?

i'm in love

sorry for the delay...big things have been happening lately.

not to worry, i'm not in the kind of love that will one day make this blog obsolete.

this time i'm in love with jamison, my absolutely adorable, sweet, tiny nephew!

aren't you in love now too? :)