a phone not ringing is the loudest noise there is

as per instructions, i called this new person yesterday. afterward, i immediately regretted it. i thought to myself, i know he said call me tomorrow, but he probably didn't mean it. then: i know he doesn't seem to be the game-playing type, but i should have still played this cool. damn! double damn! of course, last night, while i busied myself about getting ready for my trip, i heard the deafening noise of my phone not ringing. gosh, can't believe i already messed this one up. and then: but if he is really scared off by a phone call from me, did this really have any potential anyway? (if you are wondering, yes, i often wish i could tell my inner dialogue to Shut The Hell Up.) today was busy at work, completing a project before I go away (extra special thanks and shout out to K and S, my rockstar colleagues that stuck around to help me get the thing done!), more running around in vacation prep mode. mom calls, my traveling partner who I'm meeting in hawaii calls....then, unexpectedly, my phone rings....seriously, i was exactly like the guy on the AT&T commercial (set to a Cat Power song, my traveling partner pointed out to me), who sees the name on the caller ID, does the whole "Yesssss!" thing and then answers the phone all nonchalant, "Hello?" like you don't know who it is or you aren't totally psyched. so funny. we had a nice chat for about 20 minutes (the guy is a bit of a talker, but in a very endearing sort of way), and I ended the call as I had a few more errands to run. i lamented the fact that i will be gone for the next two weekends (and he is basically only free on weekends) and he said just the right thing: "don't worry about it, I'm not going anywhere." who knows if this will become anything, but i definitely had a little more pep in my step as i finished last-minute running around....

a bit of a disclaimer for those who dont know me very well....i have Phone Baggage. as described in a previous post, I've been plagued by a number of pre-emptive dumps, as well as falling prey to my own lack of patience (which I come by genetically, ask my mom!). i'm trying to learn, to be more patient, take things more slowly, not always assume other people's actions are a reflection on me. it's hard, but i think i'm getting a little better. but one thing i've never been good at is the whole "rules" of dating and the game-playing associated with that. much like the main character in A Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing who learned that the rules led her astray, I think that the right person for me wouldn't subscribe to that approach. time will tell if that is true or not, but in the meanwhile I'll keep working on my patience and get on with my life and try not to wait for the phone to ring.