I shaved my legs for this?
I've been wanting to use that subject line for a while...though secretly at the same time hoping I would never feel the need to use it.
Ah well, cute subject line, your time has come.
The long awaited first date has come...and gone.
Note to guys, here are two questions not to ask me on the first date.
"Why are you still single?"
"Am I what you expected?"
Eek. I hate the first question because I feel it presupposes there must be something wrong with me. As in this case, he led into it by saying "you are clearly smart, attractive, funny -- why are you still single?" What am I supposed to say, something about a disease or Tourette's? I don't f*ing know, I met you on match.com because apparently I'm trying not to be single...what the f* kind fo question is that?
The second question also sucks because it puts you on the spot. As an intensely honest person, I'm not sure what to say. So I tell the truth: "in terms of your voice and personality, yep, you are pretty much what I'd imagined. But based on the black and white picture I saw of you in which you were wearing sunglasses, I formed a different image of what your face would look like. Not better, not worse, just different." What the hell am I supposed to say? "I should have listened to my friends who said never trust an ad with one picture!" Not that looks are everything, clearly they are not. But physical attraction is either there or it isn't, and if you look nothing at all like your photo (or, my bad, what I imagined from your photo), then that's unfortunate. And if you give off a vaguely gay vibe and you have one of those mafioso-like rings (gold with a big black oval) and a mafioso-like gold necklace (note, this individual is primarily of Irish extraction, not Italian at all), I'd say the physical reality is kind of working against you.
I don't know. All I do know is: no more long virtual courtships! I've learned that lesson in the past and hoped my radar (gaydar?) was working better this time around, but it seems that no matter the situation, that lesson holds. And besides, anyone who knows me -- could I ever date a guy that (literally, I'm not making this up) goes to bed by 8p and gets up at 4a to accommodate his global business operation? Not likely.
Back to the drawing board, peeps.
~md
Ah well, cute subject line, your time has come.
The long awaited first date has come...and gone.
Note to guys, here are two questions not to ask me on the first date.
"Why are you still single?"
"Am I what you expected?"
Eek. I hate the first question because I feel it presupposes there must be something wrong with me. As in this case, he led into it by saying "you are clearly smart, attractive, funny -- why are you still single?" What am I supposed to say, something about a disease or Tourette's? I don't f*ing know, I met you on match.com because apparently I'm trying not to be single...what the f* kind fo question is that?
The second question also sucks because it puts you on the spot. As an intensely honest person, I'm not sure what to say. So I tell the truth: "in terms of your voice and personality, yep, you are pretty much what I'd imagined. But based on the black and white picture I saw of you in which you were wearing sunglasses, I formed a different image of what your face would look like. Not better, not worse, just different." What the hell am I supposed to say? "I should have listened to my friends who said never trust an ad with one picture!" Not that looks are everything, clearly they are not. But physical attraction is either there or it isn't, and if you look nothing at all like your photo (or, my bad, what I imagined from your photo), then that's unfortunate. And if you give off a vaguely gay vibe and you have one of those mafioso-like rings (gold with a big black oval) and a mafioso-like gold necklace (note, this individual is primarily of Irish extraction, not Italian at all), I'd say the physical reality is kind of working against you.
I don't know. All I do know is: no more long virtual courtships! I've learned that lesson in the past and hoped my radar (gaydar?) was working better this time around, but it seems that no matter the situation, that lesson holds. And besides, anyone who knows me -- could I ever date a guy that (literally, I'm not making this up) goes to bed by 8p and gets up at 4a to accommodate his global business operation? Not likely.
Back to the drawing board, peeps.
~md
posted by j @ 7:37 PM
2 Comments:
At 12:35 AM,
Anonymous said…
I'm not sure I can understand your problem with the first question. Maybe he should have said "How" are you still single?, rather than "why," but other than that it sounds clear he meant it as a rhetorical compliment, and not as a sincere question.
The second question, yeah, I'm with you. It shows a certain lack of confidence on his part, which is never attractive. Although on a related note I'm sometimes tempted by the idea of giving women I meet for first dates a 'post date evaluation form' at the end of the night. It would ask such important questions as:
On a scale of 1 to 10, how eagerly are you looking forward to me calling you for a second date? (1 - not at all, 10, very much!) Please circle.
[ 1 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 ]
But I'm convinced this would not be at all as funny as I imagine it to be. So no.
At 12:09 PM,
Anonymous said…
oy, that sucks. i can't believe the sleep at 8, up at 4 thing never came up before. that's just ridiculous. and though i'm sure he meant it as a compliment, the 'why are you still single' question is maddening. what kind of answer are they expecting? well, because i kill every guy i go out with after the first date.
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