alone again, naturally

for some strange reason, my dad really liked that song in the 70's. sung by gilbert o'sullivan, a letterman-jacket wearing type of fellow. pretty depressing song but with a poppy tempo and catchy hook. thanks to the interwebs, i see it's about suicide, being left at the altar, heartbreak and death. sweet.

well, though i was never officially "not" alone, i have been spending time with a certain individual off and on for the past few months (see posts hmmmm and it's been a while for backstory)...all seems to have been going well -- we live our lives but hang out about once a week for dinner, maybe a glass of wine, sometimes other good things that flow from nice dinners and wine, all with the shared expectation that this too shall end as we don't want the same things right now. (i'm in the market for a partner, he's not sure he ever wants marriage or kids.) so i felt a bit blindsided when he essentially broke up with me tonight largely due to the fact of meeting someone that he'd rather pursue something with while i was out of town. huh?

maybe tomorrow this will make more sense to me. but my big question is this: if he knew all of this before our last encounter, why didn't he tell me? i'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here, but i'm not sure he deserves it. and why did it take two awkward conversations for me to pull it out of him instead of him just being honest and upfront with me about it as he has been with every other issue we've discussed over the past three months?

ah well. c'est la vie. good thing i have awesome friends and family to help me think through this stuff and help restore to my face the warm smile i'm known for. am i disappointed, yes, but far from devastated...once again, it's time to move on.