the decent date dilemma
i've learned something new this week. although bad dates can be really crappy experiences, they tell you for certain that you don't want to see the person again. great dates will no doubt leave you waiting to hear from the person again, or willing yourself to wait a day or two before you contact them.
but what do you do about a "so-so" date? an "OK" date? even a "good not great" date?
i've had two good-not-great dates in the past two weeks and they leave me feeling uncertain. each of these guys was interesting, relatively attractive, not bad to spend 1.5 hours with. but there were no sparks, no imagining of what a gentle kiss would feel like with this person, no butterflies.
does that mean I should move on, or should i give it a second date to get a clearer perspective? first dates are so loaded. the last person i dated (ugh, E) i wasn't sure about after the first date, but there was enough there to make me curious, and seven months (and lots of great sex and great conversations) later, things didn't work out with us. but i did experience that feeling of how attraction can build with someone who is not your "type" or someone you aren't turned on by right away.
i talked with my friend G about this and she gave me what I think is some good advice, as it resonated with my gut instinct. "let it lie. if they contact you, and you want to see them again, a second date won't hurt." that sounds about right to me. others may disagree.
today i put one of my new year's resolutions into action...stay tuned to Thirteen Point One if you are at all interested...
~md
but what do you do about a "so-so" date? an "OK" date? even a "good not great" date?
i've had two good-not-great dates in the past two weeks and they leave me feeling uncertain. each of these guys was interesting, relatively attractive, not bad to spend 1.5 hours with. but there were no sparks, no imagining of what a gentle kiss would feel like with this person, no butterflies.
does that mean I should move on, or should i give it a second date to get a clearer perspective? first dates are so loaded. the last person i dated (ugh, E) i wasn't sure about after the first date, but there was enough there to make me curious, and seven months (and lots of great sex and great conversations) later, things didn't work out with us. but i did experience that feeling of how attraction can build with someone who is not your "type" or someone you aren't turned on by right away.
i talked with my friend G about this and she gave me what I think is some good advice, as it resonated with my gut instinct. "let it lie. if they contact you, and you want to see them again, a second date won't hurt." that sounds about right to me. others may disagree.
today i put one of my new year's resolutions into action...stay tuned to Thirteen Point One if you are at all interested...
~md
posted by j @ 12:20 AM
5 Comments:
At 3:45 PM,
zombie squirrels said…
You've gotta do the 2nd date. Most of the time, if it's "eh" at first, it stays "eh." But sometimes people take time to come out of their shell, you may have a different feeling on the 2nd date, or things may seem completely different for a multitude of reasons. But my strongest argument for the 2nd date is that on my first date with my current lady friend, I was definitely just of "eh." She seemed nice enough, but I really didn't think there was anything there. But I figured I'd give it another shot just for the heck of it, and now here it is 4 1/2 months later...
At 3:48 PM,
j said…
is THAT why you NEVER blog any more? :) i miss you and your writing. let's try to connect this weekend.
At 8:20 AM,
Felicia the Geeky Blogger said…
If you figure it out let me know. I had one of those last week...he emailed me, asked when we could get together again. I said we would arrange a time. The "first meet" was less than hour, he was the one suggesting we leave, and it didn't appear there was anything there. I find dating to be very very confusing :)
At 11:21 AM,
zombie squirrels said…
Yeah, I think the blogging hiatus is mostly winter. Jonna's post yesterday kind of summed it up. Lots has been going on and there's lots in my head but I guess I just got out of the habit. One of these days...
At 3:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
despite how it may appear I don't seek to be contrary but here it is: ZS was pretty "eh" about all things when that first date rolled around. He's so lucky she didn't take his "eh" personally :) and dang! are they a cute couple!!
you don't seem to be "eh" about dating so I second your friend's advice. If you need more friends, pursue-- if you don't, let it lie and see what happens next.
good luck on your first 1/2 marathon. DT is a great running resource and wealth of info - tap that!
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