new rules
no not those rules. don't even get me started on those. unless you want to see me get uncharacteristically angry.
more like bill maher's "new rules" -- now those are at least funny.
ok, so some rules.
rule #1: if single, look cute when you go to the grocery store. in the past week i've run into two cute single boy acquaintances, one at vons, one at Trader Joes. in both instances, i was pretty disheveled, tired from work, on my way home, not caring much about my appearance (or perhaps even my breath) at the end of the day. and then boom, on aisle 9, cute boy saying hi! yikes! both chance encounters resulted in a vague plan for "hanging out soon" so perhaps all was not lost. although with my assemblage of lean cuisine frozen meals, the very delicious new snack discovery known as guacachips, water, and feminine hygiene products, i'm not sure how good of an impression i actually made. (why did he have to line up behind me anyway?)
rule #2: if i dated your friend for 6 months but we never consummated the relationship, i am allowed to date you. (does this rule fly? i don't think i'll need to apply it, but one of the cute grocery store acquaintances referenced in rule #1 would be affected. i'll keep you posted. he did add me to his myspace already....we shall see!)
rule #3: if we have a first date that goes wonderfully well, we share appetizers, we share laughs, you are smart and cute in a hugh laurie kind of way, you ask for my information and talk of plans to go hear flamenco guitar together....don't NOT call. the fact that i have a fancy degree from a fancy institution is not an excuse to not follow through. (not that i always blame that, but everything seemed to be going swimmingly until he spied those three little letters after my name on my biz card.)
rule #4: if you are my friend's friend, and you live in the Bay Area, and i see you on the personals, and write you a friendly and slightly flirty message that says "hey, too bad we don't live in the same place, it'd be fun to meet for a beer" don't NOT write me back. that's just rude. i'm not proposing marriage and we live hundreds of miles apart. just man up and say hi. jeez, it wouldn't even cost you anything.
i think that's all for today though i'm sure there will be more after the weekend.
~md
more like bill maher's "new rules" -- now those are at least funny.
ok, so some rules.
rule #1: if single, look cute when you go to the grocery store. in the past week i've run into two cute single boy acquaintances, one at vons, one at Trader Joes. in both instances, i was pretty disheveled, tired from work, on my way home, not caring much about my appearance (or perhaps even my breath) at the end of the day. and then boom, on aisle 9, cute boy saying hi! yikes! both chance encounters resulted in a vague plan for "hanging out soon" so perhaps all was not lost. although with my assemblage of lean cuisine frozen meals, the very delicious new snack discovery known as guacachips, water, and feminine hygiene products, i'm not sure how good of an impression i actually made. (why did he have to line up behind me anyway?)
rule #2: if i dated your friend for 6 months but we never consummated the relationship, i am allowed to date you. (does this rule fly? i don't think i'll need to apply it, but one of the cute grocery store acquaintances referenced in rule #1 would be affected. i'll keep you posted. he did add me to his myspace already....we shall see!)
rule #3: if we have a first date that goes wonderfully well, we share appetizers, we share laughs, you are smart and cute in a hugh laurie kind of way, you ask for my information and talk of plans to go hear flamenco guitar together....don't NOT call. the fact that i have a fancy degree from a fancy institution is not an excuse to not follow through. (not that i always blame that, but everything seemed to be going swimmingly until he spied those three little letters after my name on my biz card.)
rule #4: if you are my friend's friend, and you live in the Bay Area, and i see you on the personals, and write you a friendly and slightly flirty message that says "hey, too bad we don't live in the same place, it'd be fun to meet for a beer" don't NOT write me back. that's just rude. i'm not proposing marriage and we live hundreds of miles apart. just man up and say hi. jeez, it wouldn't even cost you anything.
i think that's all for today though i'm sure there will be more after the weekend.
~md
posted by j @ 12:20 PM
5 Comments:
At 6:03 PM,
David said…
#1: I like the dischevled look. I think you'll have more luck if you don't look prepared to run into hot guys at the grocery store ;)
#2: You don't get to make the call on this one. Sorry.
#3: I think PhDs are sexy and any guy who is intimidated by that is undateable anyway. Frustrating, but think of it as an early screening sytem for dork-wads
#4: Totally.
At 8:20 PM,
j said…
so who does get to make the call on #2? the former "datee"? hurry up and let me know, because i'm contemplating going out for a beer where former datee's friend is likely to be tonight... : )
At 12:06 PM,
Jonna* said…
Flush pockets.
Guys are stupid. Haven't you figured that out?
Didn't they teach that at Bay Area Community College?
At 1:08 PM,
David said…
It's up to the former datee and his friend to work it out. They may consult a minimum number of their other friends for input, perhaps even female friends. It will then be put to a vote, which will be ignored and they guy will do what he wants. Its kind of a quorum. Basically, ask the guy you're interested in now out if you want. He gets to decide if it's OK..
At 8:49 PM,
B said…
hahaha those are the best rules EVER
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