"there's no easy way to say this..."
motherf*cker.
well, mr. wonderful made the interesting decision to fire me last night.
somehow, i intuited that his distant behavior this week was a portent of something unpleasant.
given that he is going through a divorce (note to self, no more separated guys!), that he has kids, that he just started a new job...i thought he might want to pull back a bit, that he had too much going on, something of that nature. which i would totally understand given his situation.
but no.
"i'm just not feeling that spark, that thing that makes you weak in the knees for somebody."
really?
can you explain, then why you asked me out on our second date before our first date was even over?
can you explain, then, why every voicemail began with "hey gorgeous?"
can you explain, then, the text message you sent me a week ago when i was out of town saying "i wish you were here in my bed with me?"
is that how you communicate with someone with whom you are not feeling the spark? (if so, i can't imagine how you communicate with someone with whom you were feeling the spark...showing up naked on her doorstep?)
at the risk of TMI, i'm very happy to report that over the month of dating, we never consummated the relationship. he should be very happy that that is the case because if he pulled this "not feeling the spark" shit after we had slept together, i would have probably slapped him across the face.
i just wonder what the real truth is because i'm having a little trouble believing this version.
so back in the dating waters. again.
what an idiot.
~md
well, mr. wonderful made the interesting decision to fire me last night.
somehow, i intuited that his distant behavior this week was a portent of something unpleasant.
given that he is going through a divorce (note to self, no more separated guys!), that he has kids, that he just started a new job...i thought he might want to pull back a bit, that he had too much going on, something of that nature. which i would totally understand given his situation.
but no.
"i'm just not feeling that spark, that thing that makes you weak in the knees for somebody."
really?
can you explain, then why you asked me out on our second date before our first date was even over?
can you explain, then, why every voicemail began with "hey gorgeous?"
can you explain, then, the text message you sent me a week ago when i was out of town saying "i wish you were here in my bed with me?"
is that how you communicate with someone with whom you are not feeling the spark? (if so, i can't imagine how you communicate with someone with whom you were feeling the spark...showing up naked on her doorstep?)
at the risk of TMI, i'm very happy to report that over the month of dating, we never consummated the relationship. he should be very happy that that is the case because if he pulled this "not feeling the spark" shit after we had slept together, i would have probably slapped him across the face.
i just wonder what the real truth is because i'm having a little trouble believing this version.
so back in the dating waters. again.
what an idiot.
~md
posted by j @ 9:24 AM
3 Comments:
At 1:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
poop.
now I don't have a perfect dating record but here are some thoughts to chew but you can also spit them out if they are too bitter :)
1) Perhaps a different perspective: A divorce, kids, new jobs can definitely create a ton of criss-cross emotions that could easily have someone misidentify a spark. That is there are so many twists and turns on his rollercoaster ride at the moment he could easily mistake the heartjump you provide as something else. It's too bad he's not more internally reflective because this is DEFINITELY the easy route - exiting the only piece he truly has control of.
2)I applaud you for a month of dating and humping. Totally not something I could do. If my pants are still on after the first date AND there's a second date, those bloomers are off. I have no idea what's "normal" in this department. And this next statement is a judgment of him not you: maybe by "spark" he means, if we haven't done it yet then there probably isn't a spark.
3) In anycase, it's not just hard out here for pimps! It's hard out here for smart, 30something (are you 30?), single ladies. That's easily the single most loud innervoice that keeps me in a slightly less than satisfying relationship with Seth almost 3 years now. the devil you know is better than the one you don't sorta deal.
Chicago has a whole lot of different dudes to offer. Hopefully the next one will come with a few fewer bags :)
Chin up, buttercup!
At 6:09 AM,
Felicia the Geeky Blogger said…
Here are my thoughts:
1) He just doesn't know what he wants and it has nothing to do with spark. With a divorce, kids, new job....he is probably looking for something that is so easy he doesn't have to think, work, or even go out of his way to have it go his way (good luck with that, he will never ever get that)
2) It is probably because you showed some restraint (good for you). That text message clearly showed where his head was (and refer to number 1..probably hoping you would fall in line with how he would like things to be). So it wasn't about spark, it was about ease for him.
3) He is an idiot.
Ughhh, I am with you on the dating.....it isn't any better here in Dallas. Keep us up to date, I enjoy reading your dating updates. Makes me realize I am not alone.
At 11:19 AM,
Anonymous said…
Bummer indeed.
I'd like to share a few thoughts if I may...
There were two red flags on that guy from the start.
1) He is a musician, sorry but I have found all the rumors to be true. Musicians have a natural roaming instinct, their talent makes them sexy to a lot of people (some of them aggressive), and that can cause said musician to wear groupies to bed. As a result, they know something is always out there.
2)He was separated, not divorced. Huge red BANNER!!! The only thing that really separates cleanly is an egg.
These may not be the best things to hear but I have dating scars as well, and I'm just passing on the few nuggets of wisdom that I managed to find in the dating river that I panhandeled.
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