two things...

just to clarify...

1) i'm not as crazy or OCD as i may sound in some of my posts. as a natural extrovert, the way i deal with things is by talking to friends, family, co-workers, random people at the grocery store, etc. talking through things helps me make sense of them. so when it's 1am and i want to vent, the blog is the next best thing to having a girlfriend to bounce ideas off of. so they are sometimes pretty raw and unattractive but they are certainly honest and the kind of thinking/ranting i can do here helps me diffuse some of the tension and anxiety i feel from dating.

2) but the best thing really is your best friend, as mine offered the following wonderful comment: "As for the R. thing - don't beat yourself up. If you two were meant to be, he would have jumped at the chance. As it is, I wouldn't rule out the possibility that he will call you again - the lack of "passion" you felt on the first date might account for not jumping at the chance, rather than him not being that psyched on you. Anyway, I admire your honesty and courage. Dating sucks, but you are awesome."

off to work now...

~md